Wisdom Riff: Judgment
A short(s) lesson on judging others.
The other day, I stood in line waiting to check out. A couple behind me laughed and shared judgments not exactly under their breath, but more boldly, loud enough for me to hear and put together their meaning. They were discussing the appropriateness of my short-shorts. Admittedly, I was already slightly uncomfortable wearing them as they are my shortest, but sometimes I get in the mood.
“It’s disgraceful to her daddy,” the man said.
I left without confrontation, feeling mildly upset and embarrassed. In my anger (in my car, silently to myself, as introverts do), I came up with a clever clapback that made me feel like I would be delivering justice if I voiced it publicly:
“Well, seeing as my father was never part of my life, I would say that’s the real disgrace.”
Ouch. Burn. Satisfying. And also…kind of sad? I think it’s fine to let our ego have its laugh (couldn’t imagine some of my favorite music without it), but there’s always the sense it’s never actually the best answer to act on in the end. Yes, that would have felt good to say initially…until I realized I was just contributing to the low energy others dished out. Not a vibe.
For here is the real (and annoying) part – as they have just judged me, I have just judged my absent father. We are both perceiving situations as disgraceful without knowing the full story.
Fire vs. fire burns us all.
“When they go low, we go high.”
Are we allowed to think whatever we want? I mean, yeah. But what do you really want to put out there?
(P.S. I would also call this a lesson in style confidence – if you’re going to wear it, wear it proudly.)